Orange juice and what?
by Obsidian76
Summary: Lance gets sick and annoys Wanda and Pietro with his whining.


**A dialogue-only fic I wrote for The Brotherhood Club's "Talk Wordy To Me" fanfic contest on DeviantArt.  
**

**All characters are (c) Marvel, I own nothing. Rating's for language and felony misuse of cold medicine.  
**

"Want Kitty...wan' Kitty...I wan' Kitty..."

"OK, Lance, that's the last of the orange juice until Pietro gets back."

"I want Kitty."

"She can't come over. I called Xavier's and Mr. McCoy said she's still sick. Now stop whining and drink your juice."

"Want Kitty."

"Why? She's the one who got _you_ sick."

"Wan' Kitty..."

"I told you on Friday night that you two shouldn't go out on a date when she was sick, but nooo, she batted her eyes at you and said "please", and your brain took the express elevator to your balls, and not only did you two go out anyway, you probably made out with her afterwards."

"Want. Kitty."

"If this bug doesn't kill you two, I will..."

"Wan' Kitty."

"Oh, God, Pietro, just get back from the fucking store already before I hex them both into the next century..."

"Want KITTY."

"Lance, I'm getting angry..."

"Mmm...wan' Kitty..."

"OK, I'm back with the groceries! Yahoo! Breakfasttimeeverybodyupandatem! Except you, Lance. We don't need a repeat of last night, right, Wanda?"

"_Don't_ remind me. It took me three hours to get the smell of vomit out of my hair."

"I don't know, it sure smelled better than that stuff Agatha Harkness got you for your birth- whoaOKnoneedtopowerupWandait'sjustajoke-aaa-ACCKK!"

"Mornin' guys. Hey, man, what's with Lance? Why's he on the couch? And why's Pietro in the wall?"

"I wan' Kitty."

"Owwww."

"Lance caught the bug that's been going around. And Pietro needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut."

"Oh, right. Here, Pietro, let me give you a hand outta there!"

"Gah! Thanks, Blob. I think. Ow."

"Wan' Kitty!"

"Huh?"

"He's been whining for Kitty all morning, it's driving me nuts."

"What do you mean 'driving', you _are_ nuts."

_"What?"_

"Uh, I mean, uh-"

"Want _Kitty!"_

"Ohlook, Lance'sglassisempty! Here, I'll get some more juice for y-"

"Want **Kitty!"**

"Ow! Hey!"

"Hey, nice aim, Lance. Right in the kisser, too."

"Want _Kitty."_

"Geez, you didn't have to throw it at me, Rockhead!"

"Want...KITTY."

"Yeah, yeah, now what do you want to drink?"

"Kitty."

"Right. I don't think she'll fit in the glass."

"Want Kitty."

"Fine, OJ it is. You're _such_ a pain in the ass when you're sick..."

"Want Kitty...wan' Kitty...Kitty..."

"Where's Todd, anyway?"

"Upstairs. He's sick, too. I was going to get some orange juice and take it up to him."

"...Kitty..."

"Excusemecomingthroughpardonme! Comingbackthroughgangway!"

"Uh, did Pietro just go upstairs and back?"

"Uh, yeah, I think he-"

"OK, here's your juice, Lance! Now drink it all- oops, some of it, uh, settled at the bottom, lemme stir it up...there. Now drink it down like a good boy. Oh, don't give me that look. What, you think there's something besides juice in there?"

"Want Kitty."

"Uh, Pietro, did you just-"

"Want_ Kitty."_

"Shut up, Blob. Now, here you go Lance-"

"Want Kitty..."

_"Hey! What happened to all the cold medicine, yo?"_

"Want..._Kitty..."_

"SHUT UP, TOAD! Lance, drink the juice."

**"I WANT**_** KITTY!"**_

"LANCE, JUST DRINK THE GODDAMN JUICE BEFORE I HEX IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

"Geez, Wanda..."

"Well, he's drinking it now, isn't he?"

"Mmmph...mmphh..."

"Goooood boy Lance, drink it all down!"

"I wan' Ki-..."

"What the hell-?"

"He fell asleep?"

"Oh, I just slipped a little cold medicine in there."

"You mixed it in his orange juice?"

"Yeah, why?"

"How much!"

"Just a double dose to get him to sleep faster! OK, maybe a double and a half, or a triple..."

"You can't do that!"

"Well, you were the one complaining about him whining for Kitty!"

"Waaan'...Kiiiitttttteeeehhhh..."

"Oh, great, now he's talking in his sleep."

"Dammit, Pietro, we need to get that crap out of his system before it makes him really sick. Now grab his other side and help me take him upstairs to the bathroom."

"Make Freddy do it, he can carry him!"

"Is there any orange juice left?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Fred, take some up to Todd."

"Yeah, sure Wanda."

"But-"

"Shut up and get his other arm!"

"Look, I'll just run him up there myself, okay?"

"No, we'll both take him, and we need to lift him carefully and-"

"Ohdon'tbother. Okay, Lance, up we go to the little boys room-"

"No, you idiot!"

"Urk! Bleargaaaaaarrrph!"

"EEEARGH! Hepukedonme_hepukedonme!"_

"Yeah, that's right, Pietro, drop him. A concussion is exactly what he needs next!"

"Gah!IneedashowernownowNOW!"

"Urp ... I wan' Kitty."

"Well, at least we purged his system of that crap."

_"Pietro? What the fuck are you doing, yo? I'm taking a shower here-hey!"_

"Aw, man, he got it all over the wall, too."

"Geez, Pietro, you could at least let me get a towel or something instead a'kicking me out here in nothin' but my birthday suit. Bad enough I gotta cold. Hey, what's goin' on here, guys? Why are you lying on the stairs, Lance? Oh, good morning, cuddlebumps!"

"That's it..."

"Where're you going, Wanda?"

"Over to the X-Mansion to blast Kitty into the next millenium for getting Lance sick and creating this whole mess, that's what!"


End file.
